Beyond Academics

The Role of Life Skills & Emotional Resilience in Education

Why do we act as though academic results are everything? Because once we hit adulthood, we realise… they aren’t. Absolutely, for some of us, we needed those grades. So yes, they matter. But when we place grades high above everything else, we miss one crucial element:

Children are not machines. They aren’t built for output. They are human beings; growing, learning, and trying to make sense of a world that demands far more than just test scores.

Through my work, I’ve seen children who can memorise pages of text but fall apart when they’re asked to handle failure. Children who struggle with transitions. Children who crumble under pressure, despite performing well on paper. And I’ve also worked with children who find classroom learning incredibly hard but, have problem solving skills and emotional insight that leaves me speechless.

Life skills matter. Emotional resilience also matters. In many cases, it’s not a lack of academic knowledge that pushes a child to disengage from school. It’s the absence of emotional grounding.

So what should education also be teaching?

Before I go on, I want to acknowledge this: Teachers are overwhelmed. Time is tight. There are already more expectations than minutes in the day. I’ve been there. I remember thinking, “How can I add anything else?”

But I also remember how transformative those five minutes could be! The simple checkin at the start of the day, the conversation after lunch, the quiet moment to really listen. If we embed this from EYFS, it becomes part of teaching. It should already be.

1. Emotional Regulation

We need to go beyond “name that feeling.” Children need to practise recognising emotions in themselves, in the moment. They need to know what to do with frustration, disappointment, anger, and embarrassment. They need to know how to do so without shutting down or lashing out.

We talk about teaching children to hold a pencil again. But let’s be honest: many aren’t being taught. I work with students well beyond KS1 who can’t form letters. They’re expected to copy shapes from the board, but no one showed them how.

Handwriting isn’t just about letters. It’s about motor planning, coordination, and confidence. Emotional regulation is the same because it’s foundational. And if we don’t teach children how to hold themselves through big feelings, they’ll struggle to hold themselves together later.

2. Communication and Boundaries

Children are often punished for expressing themselves. They get labelled, silenced, boxed. But education should do the opposite. It should empower them to speak clearly, advocate for themselves, and navigate difficult conversations.

We should be teaching:

• How to say “no.”

• How to express discomfort.

• How to ask for space.

• How to resolve conflict.

And not just through interventions for the SEN register. Every child deserves this.

3. Manage Stress and Overwhelm

Burnout. Burnout isn’t just an adult experience. Children, especially neurodivergent children live it too.

They’re told to “just concentrate,” “just stop fidgeting,” “just try harder.” But often, their nervous systems are overloaded. They’re in survival mode.

We teach adults to rest, to regulate, to adjust. Why don’t we do the same for children?

4. Problem Solving and Adaptability

Things will go wrong. That’s life. So how do we help children respond when they do?

We say we want resilience. But too often, we reward perfectionism or punish human responses. I’ve seen systems where punching a peer leads to a “run around the field” instead of accountability. Meanwhile, the child harmed is left unseen.

Resilience comes from being supported to try again. Not ignored. Not indulged. Guided.

5. Self Awareness and Confidence

“Who am I?” “What do I need to feel safe?”

Children need space to reflect. To explore how they learn, communicate, connect. To know their strengths and feel seen in their needs.

Confidence doesn’t come from blanket praise. It grows when children feel heard, understood, and accepted.

So why is this not embedded in education?

Because schools are judged by performance.

Because the data matters more than the people.

Because somewhere along the way, we started teaching to the results instead of to the child.

But education shouldn’t be about what looks good on paper. It should be about who a child becomes.

Imagine a classroom where emotional checkins are as normal as taking the register. Where children can step out to regulate without shame. Where failure is folded into the learning process and not feared. Where strengths beyond academic grades are valued.

The irony of this all, is that these are the very sills that sustain wellbeing. The skills that help build connections and does contribute to long term success. And yet, at school it seems to be that silent rows under a one size fits all assessment is the priority.

Education is not just about what children know, it is about who they become.

Because, long after those exams are over, those grades fade. But the skills, the real skills --> they stay.